I’m not going to do the math, but Jamie Moyer probably has more Major League experience than the entire Marlins’ pitching staff combined.  He also has the best record of any pitcher in Major League history.  Well, I suppose that’s easy considering he began pitching before baseball statistics were kept.

Yes, this old man made the young Fish look silly tonight during the Phillies’ 3-0 win.  It was a waste of a stellar effort by Scott Olsen, who pitch six scoreless innings before letting two score on a wild pitch and an errant throw by Matt Treanor.  If it weren’t for that doubly bad play, Scott “Don’t Tase Me Bro” Olsen might have gone neck-and-neck with Moyer until the end.

But, as we all know, the Marlins enjoy having the worst defense (statistically) in the Major Leagues.  They like it because it keeps games interesting.  After tonight’s game, Fredi Gonzalez said, “it’s fun to expect the unexpected.  Perfect defense is like a mundane 9-to-5 job.”

In all seriousness, with Jacques Jones  designated for assignment, the Marlins can no longer blame a voodoo-like bad luck curse.  It’s an even playing field (unless we’re playing in Houston, right?).  The Fish need to improve their defense if they want to remain in contention.

Meanwhile, the Marlins’ scouts need to 1) get fired, or 2) figure out Jamie Moyer.  He is making too many of his fellow AARP members in Florida jealous and needs to come back down to reality.  45-year-old people don’t nearly throw no-hitters, they eat Early Bird specials and slow down traffic.

Two homers.  Two walks.  A stolen base.

This team will live and die by Hanley Ramirez.  When he is cold, the fish are cold, like sushi.  When El Nino (the second) is hot, the fish are hot, like fish ‘n chips.

Who are the chips?  How about Mike Rabelo, who’s 2-run homer in the top of the 9th might have single-handedly turned this season around.  If the fish quickly get out of this free fall they will prove to themselves of their resilience, the most important quality in this marathon that is the 162 games baseball schedule.  Rabelo’s homer might have jolted some life back into this sushi plate.

Take Kevin Gregg as an example, notching save number 11.  Yes, the same Kevin Gregg who seem to be a Philadelphia Phillies double agent.  Below the belt?  Maybe, but he’s struggling, with that pitching motion of his, it’s hard not to think he’s literally throwing batting practice.

So, let’s hope this 6-4 win over the Braves is truly the comeback.  Let’s hope Hanley, our #2, is alive and has gotten over the fact that he could buy a new golden toilet seat each time he goes number 2.

And, once more, it’s worth noting that Jacques Jones went 0-for-1 today in this pinch hit performance.   (He struck out for Mark Hendrickson, who’s batting average is nearly double that of Jones).