I’m not going to do the math, but Jamie Moyer probably has more Major League experience than the entire Marlins’ pitching staff combined.  He also has the best record of any pitcher in Major League history.  Well, I suppose that’s easy considering he began pitching before baseball statistics were kept.

Yes, this old man made the young Fish look silly tonight during the Phillies’ 3-0 win.  It was a waste of a stellar effort by Scott Olsen, who pitch six scoreless innings before letting two score on a wild pitch and an errant throw by Matt Treanor.  If it weren’t for that doubly bad play, Scott “Don’t Tase Me Bro” Olsen might have gone neck-and-neck with Moyer until the end.

But, as we all know, the Marlins enjoy having the worst defense (statistically) in the Major Leagues.  They like it because it keeps games interesting.  After tonight’s game, Fredi Gonzalez said, “it’s fun to expect the unexpected.  Perfect defense is like a mundane 9-to-5 job.”

In all seriousness, with Jacques Jones  designated for assignment, the Marlins can no longer blame a voodoo-like bad luck curse.  It’s an even playing field (unless we’re playing in Houston, right?).  The Fish need to improve their defense if they want to remain in contention.

Meanwhile, the Marlins’ scouts need to 1) get fired, or 2) figure out Jamie Moyer.  He is making too many of his fellow AARP members in Florida jealous and needs to come back down to reality.  45-year-old people don’t nearly throw no-hitters, they eat Early Bird specials and slow down traffic.